My EVP Journal

How this came about.

We rented the movie White Noise after it first came out in 2005.  The kids were in bed and hubby and I had finished watching it in our room around midnight.  He said "hey, I have a small recorder" and I said "go get it!".  It was the cassette type.  So he brought it up and we turned off the tv and lights and waited in silence.  He had set it on voice activation so that it only recorded if it heard something.  Within the first minute or two, the red light came on indicating that it was recording, even though we couldn't hear a thing.

We played it back and heard "Paula" very clearly on the tape.  We were shocked.  I couldn't understand how someone had said my name when our ears hadn't heard anything.  I said "that sounds like ME, but I didn't say anything!".  Hubby said "it was your mom".  I ended up recording over it because we kept trying to get more.  Needless to say, I ended up going around the house whenever it was quiet trying to find more voices.

We continued to get words here and there and hubby bought me a digital recorder and a set of earphones.  My sister Dawn was over one day and I was telling her about it, so her and I went around the house recording.  We went into my son's closet and turned it on.  After about a minute, we heard loud and clear "whisper deeper".  The problem back then was that it was so scary to me that whenever I'd hear something, I'd instantly turn off the recorder.  We're always able to hear the voices live wearing the earphones.

I didn't record on a regular basis because it was too noisy in this busy house and because I was scared; scared to record alone and a lack of willing participants.  Over the years I got several different recordings and hadn't saved most of them.  I must say I was usually successful in that most every time I was able to get something.

In 2006, we bought the house behind us and moved my sister Sandy into it.  Hubby's brother John started hanging around in 2007 and took an interest in her.  He was around a lot, including sleeping on the couch.  One day we were talking about the evp's and after playing some of my recordings to them, Sandy and I tried both houses and got nothing.  John asked if he could try and he and Sandy's son went to her house where it was quieter and came back saying they got something.  It was a little girl's voice, not a whisper, saying "help me mommy".

The excitement was back.  Not only were the voices still there, but now I had some willing participants.  In September, 2007 we went from room to room, closet to closet and house to house getting voices.  This time with the three of us, we were able to get longer recordings.  I almost had to force myself to not scream or jump and hit the stop button when we heard something.  We were able to get them anytime, anywhere.  We soon found that the voices were louder and clearer at night when it was quieter and also got the best acoustics in a small basement room in Sandy's house.

For over a month, we were recording almost every night and not only were the voices improving and our fear diminishing, but we were getting more and more different spirits.  We were able to get their names and hold short conversations with them.  John started working and the recordings became more limited to weekends.  As the word spread, different people would come over to talk to the spirits and everyone was able to hear them live and ask them questions.  If we wanted too, we could probably record several hours straight with a single spirit.  I have some recordings saved over 30 minutes long, but I limit the length for editing.  We had bought a splitter so that we could use two sets of earphones and four people could listen using one ear plug.

I usually hold the recorder and I have to sweep it around the room to find the voices.  Some are loudest near the wall, some the floor, and some near us.  A few regular spirits are always picked up in the same place... like Mr. What who always yelled WHAT! when I hold the recorder near Sandy's face.  At first the voices were all whispers and faint.  I'd have to go through the alphabet sometimes just to get the first letter of a spirit's name.  We experimented with different things trying to get them louder.  I held the recorder inside a plastic bowl which gave us instant acoustics so John was able to devise something more practical with a 2 liter bottle.  We also discovered that the atmosphere (moisture) affected the voices which the spirits confirmed.

It was after a month, in October, that we started hearing them with our ears.  We each had an ear plug in one ear and nothing in the other.  Sandy shouted "I'm hearing that with my ear!".  My sister Dawn listened and said she did too.  I thought they were crazy or just thinking they were.  Sandy yanked my ear plug out and said "NO, LISTEN!".  Sure enough, we could hear them without the earphones and even without the recorder being on.  It was actually louder and clearer without the earphones.

Over the next few days, we tried to determine where the sounds were coming from.  We finally pinpointed it to John's ear!  It wasn't long before we were following John around talking to his ear, sometimes holding up cut off plastic bottles to his head.  We could do this in the middle of the day with noisy people around and the tv blaring.  They're always there.  One thing we discovered is that not everyone can hear them with their ears, including John!

I went through different periods of skepticism and doubt and continuously tried different tests.  I am  now convinced that these voices are not fake, not ventriloquism and not subconscious.  We can hear them while John is eating and chewing or drinking.  We could hear them with his mouth held wide open.  We can hear them talking while he's talking.  I held out fingers where no one could see them and the spirits were able to count them.  They've also told us things that John didn't know.

Besides the various tests, I started getting touched.  As I got over the fear of that, we were getting blown in our faces, tickled, poked and were getting orbs, mists and even smells.  At some point I'll have to devote a page to the touching alone.  The different ways it feels, the different things they can do.  I'm now touched by them on a daily basis and it's not just me, Sandy too.  It's all so amazing, so surreal.  It's also 100% proof to me that it's not John and that there is life after death, no, THERE IS NO DEATH, only a transition.  I'd also like to emphasize that there's nothing ghostly about it.  Television has portrayed the afterlife as spooky, chain rattling terror.  These are just people!

Everything seems to be happening in phases.  It's like we get new and different things little by little allowing us time to get use to it.  It also seems that the more we record the stronger the voices get.  The whispers were enhanced with occasional voice like spirits.  Male, female, young, old.  I must admit, we have yet to speak to anyone we knew.  It almost feels like we're slowly prepared for each step and we never know what new things will start happening.

We've encountered some grouchy spirits.  "Get out, leave me alone, f you" etc.  BUT, as we're usually in a joking and humorous exchange with them, we've been able to turn some of the grouches into some of our favorite regular visitors.  We've joked, laughed, cried and even argued with the spirits.

Getting back to John's ears, the voices come from one or the other and definitely not his mouth or throat.  I don't understand how my sister and I (and others) can hear them from even across the room sometimes and neither John himself nor my husband sitting right there can hear them.  In the past few months, we've tried several times recording without John and got absolutely nothing, which doesn't make any sense since years before we were able to do that and John wasn't around then.  I think only one time did we get voices without him being in the room, maybe another time or two.  He was downstairs with the baby and Sandy and I went upstairs to her bedroom closet.  We got "get out, leave me alone" and also thumpings in the wall and loud creaking in the floor we were sitting on; it was actually vibrating.

Update:  Sandy and I recorded 02/09 and we DID get voices.  We were also hearing them with our ears.  John wasn't here.

From reading on the internet, I have determined that John is a direct voice medium.  It's the only explanation I can come up with.  John has since "moved out" and not until today was I able to arrange a recording for this new year.  My brother Bob came over in November and was able to talk to 5 year old Hazel by holding a construction cone to John's head (hey, whatever works).  They took an instant liking to each other and Bob began getting woke up by her at night alone in his home.  He can hear her and feel her without anyone else around!  He even complains how she keeps bothering him when he's trying to sleep by singing and talking.  Boy am I jealous.  Yet, we can't use him the way we can John and are still limited to only getting voices when he's in the room, except for the telephone.  Whenever Bob calls me, we can hear a voice talking to us thru the static in the phone line.  Nothing makes sense!  Bob can hear them on his own and John can't.

In December, I had been questioning and pleading a certain spirit that we refer to as Mr. Tickles to help us be able to hear without John.  I had asked him and also Hazel to try speaking to me in bed at night.  To date I have faintly heard Hazel singing a few times and once, this night, heard a man singing the Notre Dame fight song.  Mr. Tickles has been doing "something" to my ears every night.  I can feel and hear things going on.  I lay awake til 4 or 5 in the morning every night trying to listen.

It's like my ears are being tuned and amplified, like there's a pressure change (similar to air travel) and my ear is in a tunnel or has an invisibly attached cone (like a seashell).  It's hard to describe.  Hubby likes to sleep with the fan and the police scanner on.  I must say the fan helps because it's mainly the noise I hear and it helps me find the loudest listening angle (note that we never use any background noise when recording).  At a certain angle when laying on my back, my left ear hears the fan amplified close up and separate to normal, regular hearing of the fan.  My right ear has a lower pitched separate "white noise" sound.  Hubby snores, but I don't hear the snoring or the scanner amplified.  In my right ear, I can hear his breathing, his faint breathing.  Not only during the snoring, but any time during the night when I'm at the right angle, I can hear his faintest breaths that I can't hear normally.  What's also interesting is that I do not hear my OWN breath amplified.

When I'm able to talk to Mr. Tickles, I tell him that I can't hear him talking, although a few times I've very faintly picked up what sounded like words.  At one point he told me I wasn't paying attention.  Well that was because I was also being touched and I've been experimenting with that as well.  Can you imagine a force so strong, yet soft and not heavy, that you can't even lift your arm with all your might?  (A whole 'nother story.)  Anyway, I have to go thru tonight's recordings and finish editing them to add to this page.  He was saying something about my ears being weird, but that he'll keep trying to help me hear them.

All strange, but true.  Take it for what it is.  I swear to all of the above and I wish everyone could know as assuredly as I do of the existence of spirit life.  At the very least, I can't be accused of being crazy because thankfully I'm not alone in this.  I intend to share everything I find out which is why I spend the time to do these web pages.  I would love to have a scientist and/or engineer confirm this and maybe even "go public", but I have fears.  I fear that scientists would try to claim it as group subconscious or something that they could not seriously accept due to peer pressure or fear of ridicule.  As if to suggest that if our minds were able to produce audible, recordable voices wouldn't be astounding enough in itself.  I even had a technical person try to suggest that a neighbor with a hearing aid was picking us up and he even proposed that I was either playing back another recorder with prerecorded answers or that I was creating the voices with the editing software.  This from a person only knowing about it via an internet forum instead of having listened for himself.  I fear that television would portray it as spooky hauntings and stick it on a shelf amongst their library of paranormal cases.  I also fear that I would lose John to any of the above and thereby lose my "connection".  I'm already in a turmoil having lost John to his personal life, which limits me to recording sessions.  I was hoping to have developed "clairaudience?" before I went any further publicly, but the story needs to be told regardless.  It's become my passion and my obsession.  I'll do everything I can so that as many as possible can know the TRUTH.

In the meantime, I've been reading some free google books as it seems that this was very common and popular around the mid 1800's.  They spoke of direct and indirect voice, rappings, apports, seeing, touching and even levitations.  Just from the things I've felt, I can easily believe that levitation is possible.  I'm no longer afraid of anything, "ghosts" or death, and I use to be a big time 'scared of the dark' wuss.  This needs to be taken and studied seriously.  We need to remove the fears, the woo woo'ism and the new age attributes.  Nothing in the world is more important than this.  We need to stop worrying so much about Mars and look right under our noses.  We need to set aside worrying about obtaining mathematical and scientific proof based on preconceived notions.  We need to realize that there's life beyond our five senses.

Continue to page 8 for more recording clips.